WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S 3
A FEATURE-LENGTH SCREENPLAY
Written by Pete Johnson & Craig Douglas Miller
Real-life Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman attempt to jump start their fading acting careers with a new sequel to WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S. But when they seek out Terry Kiser to reprise his role as "Bernie", a gruesome mishap has them treading curiously familiar ground…
THE ANTI SEQUEL
The 80’s reboot: A cozy, cultural blanket, with big gusts of box-office tail wind, but few surprises. Pre-baked characters, story-lines seared into our memory, and a double helping of nostalgia shot right into an artery. What’s not to like?
A lot, apparently.
Despite the cultural electricity a reboot of a popular franchise can create, audiences often leave disappointed. Like seeing an old flame after a long while and realizing that maybe there’s a reason you didn’t end up together.
But, what if we did an 80’s reboot in a different, more surprising way? What if it wasn’t beholden to canon, but was free to cherry pick only the best bits from the original? What if the characters we were expecting, became totally new versions of themselves, with more depth and humanity? What if the plot was smart, nuanced and self-aware, satirically skewering the same reboot culture it’s seeking to exploit, and holding a mirror to the spiraling technological landscape that has us all asking what in the ever loving f@#$ are we doing? What if it were a reboot that had us laughing like crazy people at the absurdity of it all?
This is that 80s Reboot.
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Jonathan Silverman
On the surface, this “Real Life” JONATHAN SILVERMAN is living the post-Hollywood American dream. He’s got a beautiful wife (actress JENNIFER FINNIGAN), two strapping teenage boys, a brand-new German SUV, and a gorgeous suburban home in Pasadena. But despite all this, Silverman is deeply unhappy. The red-carpet glamour of Hollywood has been replaced by the mind-numbing boredom of kids’ soccer games and birthday parties, with a peer group of bland middle management Dads, and a general public who knows they’ve seen him somewhere but can’t quite figure out where.
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Andrew McCarthy
This parallel universe version of ANDREW MCCARTHY is nothing like the well-adjusted and successful actor/director/travel writer which Andrew McCarthy is in real life. This is Andrew McCarthy has gone off the rails. He’s a sad stereotype of the teen star gone wrong.—seduced by drugs and booze, bitter and entitled, and unable to cope with his declining fame. But, despite it all, Andrew still shows flashes of being the boyishly charming, thoughtful, sensitive kid we once knew him as.
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Terry Kiser
After an unlikely rise to fame playing dead as Bernie Lomax, TERRY KISER at first seemed destined to become yet another casualty of Hollywood excess, enjoying copious amounts of sex, booze and drugs. However, after finding “the lord”, Terry reformed his life and became a devout man of god. After being lucky enough to make many millions by investing in Google, he left Hollywood for life on a palatial ranch, swearing to never return to his old career.
ACT I
When we find our protagonists, ANDREW MCCARTHY and JONATHAN SILVERMAN, their salad days as Hollywood teen heartthrobs are long gone. Andrew is an addicted, beaten down shell of his former self, who can’t even keep a gig doing local theater. And Silverman’s seemingly blissful life as a suburban Dad can barely cover his depression over his lost fame and nearly dead career.
After a pep talk from old friend MOLLY RINGWALD fails to have any effect on him, Andrew starts a drunken fistfight and ends up getting arrested. Jonathan arrives and dutifully bails him out for the umpteenth time, using the opportunity to finally tries to convince Andrew that making Weekend at Bernie’s III is their ticket back to Hollywood glory. But Andrew wants no part of it, as he feels the original movies wrecked his career. But when he finds himself targeted by a FIXER after losing a sports bet to the Russian mafia, Andrew has little choice but to go along with it, in hopes of the payday that could save his life. Jonathan secures a pitch meeting with SPIKE JONZE, and McCarthy is in.
Eager to capitalize on Hollywood’s financially lucrative yet creatively barren reboot machine, Spike and cynical Hollywood megaproducer CANNON PORTER set the wheels in motion to make the film, and collect a hefty payday for them all, quality be damned. But first, Andrew and Jonathan must convince one other actor to join the party: “Bernie” himself, the reclusive Terry Kiser. So after procuring Terry’s location from his agent, DICK MCNAIR, Andrew and Jonathan set out on a quest to track him down, and get the sequel off the ground.
ACT II
Eager to capitalize on Hollywood’s reboot machine, Spike sets the wheels in motion to make the film. But now, in order to collect a million-dollar payday each, Andrew and Jonathan have to convince one other actor to join the party – “Bernie” himself, Terry Kiser. Trouble is, Terry is now a born-again Christian, off the grid, living a monastic life on his ranch with the millions he made investing in Google. He turns them down, prompting Andrew to contemplate killing him. Instead, Terry convinces Andrew to accept the Lord and they baptize each other. Jonathan shows up just as Andrew dunks Terry and it appears as if he’s drowning him. Jonathan tries to stop Andrew by swinging firewood at his head, only to kill Terry for real this time.
The next morning, they stage a Zoom call with Spike Jonze in an attempt to convince him that the seemingly dead Terry is merely method acting and refusing to break character. Spike immediately sends some friends to visit/check up on them, who turn out to be BRADLEY COOPER and JAMES CORDEN, there to recruit the trio to join them for carpool karaoke on Corden’s show.
ACT II (continued)
The ruse holds on a Zoom call with Spike Jonze, as the trio are able to prop up Terry’s corpse just enough to convince Spike that Terry is alive, and merely method acting, preparing for the shoot by refusing to break character as the dead Bernie.
But, when Spike sends his friends BRADLEY COOPER and JAMES CORDEN to the ranch to film a surprise Carpool Karaoke segment, the whole charade begins to come apart, along with Terry’s quickly decomposing body. During filming, the cameras catch a shot of a panicked Jonathan and Andrew watching in horror as Terry’s hand rips completely off his body.
A suspicious Corden views the footage the next day, realizes what’s happened and vows to keep the whole thing under wraps, lest he be an accessory to murder. But it doesn’t take long for the footage to leak to the media and start spreading.
ACT III
The next day, the leaked clip goes viral, becoming a national sensation, and calling into question for everyone whether or not Terry is alive. In the blink of an eye, the ranch is surrounded by throngs of police, FBI, reporters, and thousands of Weekend at Bernie’s fans and onlookers, effectively trapping everyone inside. After McNair mouths off one too many times, The Fixer shoots him dead, steals some of Terry’s art and sneaks out the back, leaving Andrew and Jonathan alone with only their thoughts...and of course, Terry’s corpse.
With no hope of escape, Andrew and Jonathan reflect on how their obsession with recapturing their glory days has ruined everything, and they decide to give themselves up. Jonathan walks out first and receives the adoration from the crowd he’s longed for, abandoning all contrition, and basking in his newfound fame. Next, a pensive Andrew emerges along with Terry’s corpse to enjoy one last moment with Bernie. But, when a trigger-happy cop squeezes off a round, Andrew is shot dead in a hail of bullets, collapsing next to Terry, whose famous “Bernie Smirk” is the last thing he’ll ever see.
ACT III (continued)
A funeral for Andrew and Terry draws worldwide TV coverage and massive crowds, including all of Andrew and Jonathan’s former Brat Pack co-stars. Meanwhile, Jonathan looks on from jail as he negotiates a contract for the rights to his story.
In a final post-credits scene, QUENTIN TARANTINO calls “Action!” on Scene One, Take One of Weekend at Bernie’s III, starring Bradley Cooper and James Corden, and featuring famed method-actor DANIEL DAY-LEWIS as Bernie.
CELEBS
Against the odds, MOLLY RINGWALD has continued to have an artistically and financially successful career well beyond her teen years. She’s well-adjusted, solid, stable, and caring. However, she’s also driven to succeed and will only take so much before moving on.
Famed director SPIKE JONZE has achieved everything he could possibly achieve artistically. And yet, his soft-spoken personality, subtle approach and lack of egomaniacal ranting have made him a much lesser name than his personal nemesis: Quentin Tarantino. So, he finds himself these days often sacrificing artistic merit for buzz and box office receipts.
Despite becoming more and more famous, and his image becoming more and more sophisticated, BRADLEY COOPER in reality is still an overgrown teenager not unlike his character in The Hangover.
Beneath his cherubic face, famed late-night canceled host JAMES CORDEN is as sinister, cut-throat and twisted as the rumors say.
PRODUCERS, AGENTS & HITMEN
CANNON PORTER
Cannon is every stereotype of a rich, morally bankrupt Hollywood producer. He has more money than God, and a desire to have twice as much money as God. His enormous mansion serves as a 24/7/365 ground zero for decadent drug-fueled partying.
DICK MCNAIR
Old school Hollywood talent agent Dick McNair once flirted with what might be generously be called the lower rungs success. But, he seems to think his former connections from managing C-list actors in the 70’s still carry A-list weight. The brash, braggadociaus McNair has zero fucks to give, because he knows he’s a badass, even if no one else does.
THE FIXER
The Fixer is possibly a former KGB agent, and most definitely an Eastern European killing machine who has been a reliable tool of the Russian Mafia for decades in LA and beyond. However, he too has had enough with his banal existence and would love to get out and live out his remaining years in quiet solitude.
TONE
As a meta-story, this film is free to take the best parts of the original Weekend at Bernie’s, while simultaneously evolving the franchise into someting totally different in tone and feel.
On one hand, we want to impart a gritty realism and darkly comic sensibility, sprinkling in a dash of body horror, to create a film that’s in stark contrast to the cartoonish slapstick of the original.
But, lest we go too dark and slow, this isn’t an story of brooding intensity or contemplation. It should maintain the breakneck pacing and manic unpredictability of the original, always keeping us guessing what insanity comes next.
WHY THIS NEEDS TO BE MADE
Our meta-story, “anti-sequel” approach gives us a unique opportunity to have our cake and eat it too. It capitalizes on nostalgia for the original. But it also frees us from the canon of the first two films. A franchise once completely based on a single goofy, slapstick gag, now has added elements of intelligent dark comedy and biting satire.
Then there’s the financial element. Even less-than-great reboots and sequels profit at the box office. So, imagine the draw of a sequel that actually stands on its own as a great film. Imagine a reboot that draws attention not just from nostalgia for the original, but for its own quality.
And lest we forget, like the original, Weekend at Bernie’s III is still a buddy comedy about two guys trying to keep the party going by passing off a corpse as a living breathing human being. And that’s as funny in 2022 as it was in 1989.
WRITERS
PETE JOHNSON and CRAIG DOUGLAS MILLER formed their screenwriting team after working together as writers and creative directors in the advertising industry. They’ve both enjoyed successful, twenty-plus year careers, making award winning work for the ad industry’s most creative agencies. But, their friendship and shared passion for screenwriting led them to team up and collaborate on their first feature script: WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S III. Their writing features “bonkers,” “pitch black” comedy, and a sharp dialog style that comes from spending their careers fitting big ideas into 30 second slots. But beneath the insanity is depth, heart and optimism as they touch on themes of friendship, redemption, and finding purpose in life.
Pete and Craig currently reside in New York and Atlanta respectively.